


fourteen-thirteen

by sanvitheartificer



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Accidental Child Acquistion, Gen, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, agender five hargreeves, nonbinary klaus hargreeves, okay it's not really accidental but close enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanvitheartificer/pseuds/sanvitheartificer
Summary: When they stumble out of the time vortex, they're not the only ones.(or, umbrella academy thatlooksthirteen kidnadopts umbrella academy that'sactuallythirteen).





	fourteen-thirteen

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about fix-it scenarios for Umbrella Academy, and what the Hargreeves' sibling relationship might look like if they'd had parents who nurtured them, just, at all. But then I realized that canon itself provided a golden opportunity for these disasters to raise themselves. 
> 
> I'm not really planning to continue this as a full-length fic at present. I don't feel like I have the time/emotional energy to go into healing from trauma and abuse for both sets of Hargreeves at the level it would deserve. But we'll see! And I'll maybe write some short scenes from various points in this AU; if there's anything you'd particularly like to see send me a comment!
> 
> On that note: I would really really love to see other takes on "the Hargreeves get kidnapped as children and grow up in a healthier environment", so the idea is completely up for grabs.

 

They stumbled out of the wormhole onto a familiar street corner, and went to Griddy's.

 

“So, no more apocalypse, or what?” Klaus said, staring at Vanya's unconscious form. The old waitress never asked too many questions about the bloodstains, Five recalled. It's why they'd liked this place.

 

“No?” Allison said. “I mean, like... did this actually avert the apocalypse?” She stared at Five, who rubbed the bridge of xir nose.

 

“It _should_ have, but there's an entire agency dedicated to – _Fuck_!”

 

“What?” Luther said.

 

Klaus has already turned to look, mouth wide open. “Fuck,” he agreed, as Number Two, original flavor, _actually thirteen fucking years old_ , walked through the door.

 

“Bathroom. Now,” Luther commanded, already carrying Vanya, and for once, they all followed without argument.

 

As soon as Ben closed and locked the door, Diego said, “You didn't say anything about younger versions of us!”

 

“There wasn't exactly an abundance of time! Did you want me to spend eight hours attempting to cram temporal physics into your tiny heads so you had an accurate understanding of the risks, or did you want me to avert the fucking apocalypse?” Five spat. “Crossing our own timelines like this _doesn't happen_! For a good reason!”

 

“This is fun, isn't it?” Klaus commented idly, perched on a sink that definitely shouldn't be supporting his weight. “Just like old times.”

 

“Okay, calm down!” Allison yelled. “He'll hear us!”

 

The bathroom was silent for a second, except for Diego's kind-of-heavy breathing.

 

“What's the plan? Obviously we have to find some way to intervene with young Vanya, too,” Allison said.

 

“What if we kidnapped her?” Ben said.

 

Everyone turned and stared at him. Ben looked deeply uncomfortable, blushing an unsettling shade of purple, but he stood his ground. “It's not like Dad is going to do a better job this time around,” he mumbled.

 

“We can't,” Luther said.

 

“Why not?” Diego said immediately. “Ben's right, we can't do a worse job than Dad did.”

 

“What about the rest of us? Little us?” Allison said, staring down Ben.

 

“No, no, I like this idea! Kidnap them too!” Klaus said.

 

“You all can't seriously be considering – we don't have a _home_ , we all look thirteen ourselves, how the fuck do you think we'd support seven other kids on the streets?” Luther said.

 

Klaus snorted. “Yeah, right, the streets, have any of us ever had _any_ experience with the streets, gee, I sure _wonder_ , Luther!”

 

“Dad will be looking for us. This is going to be hard enough on our own without seven other actual babies to look after.” Five said, not looking at anyone.

 

“Do we really want to watch history repeat itself?” Ben said softly, breaking the silence.

 

They all exchanged looks. Luther shifted uneasily from foot to foot.

 

“Fuck! Fine! But we've got to have an actual plan this time!” Five said.

 

“Wait a second, _I_ never agreed – ” Luther said.

 

“Right, like you're the leader. Get with the program, Number One!” Diego said.

 

“For the record, I – I'm not sure about this, but if this is what y'all want to do, I'll stand with you.” Allison said, and Luther, who'd been about to yell at Diego, subsided.

 

Klaus snorted. Five turned to him, annoyed.

 

“What? What's so funny?”

 

“Nothing, it's just – we're adopting our _own younger selves_ and we're fucking _thirteen_ again – ” Klaus broke up into giggles, sliding off the sink.

 

Ben looked at Klaus and chuckled. Allison cracked a smile. And then, somehow, they were all falling over themselves, laughing hysterically.

 

“Hey! Some of us have to actually use the bathroom!” someone yelled from outside, and they all laughed even harder. Luther maneuvered to block the door, and Diego raised an eyebrow at him, and Luther glared, and for a moment, it was like they really were thirteen again. They'd never laughed like this then, but – together. They were together.

 

Sometimes Five just couldn't believe xir'd missed these idiots. And then, sometimes, there were moments like these. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @windywords123 and you're always welcome to drop by!


End file.
